i am / we are an incongruity here and now. early doors very early doors this fact of life became very apparent and very clear to my child's mind. of course i had no concept of the word &or meaning of the adjective: incongruous.
my the choices and decision making of our father i found myself standing in the doorway of a big room looking at a group of white children who, were all looking back at me, seated at tables and chairs the size of which i had not seen before. standing next to me were two women. my mother and a white woman complete stranger to me.
the next thing i was aware of was the white woman talking to me telling me to "say goodbye colin". this instruction from the white woman presented no difficulties for me. i was happy to comply. i raised my arm and waved my hand at the group of white children occupying the small tables and chairs and said: bye.
i failed to see anything amusing in what id just done or said at the suggestion of the white woman so was confused to see both my mother and the white woman laughing and smiling when i looked up at their faces. where upon the white woman told me to say good bye to my mother and not the group of children in front of me. then the white woman took my by the hand and lead me to a vacant small chair in front of small tables joined together. sat me down and walked away. me? i sat where i was placed for what seemed like a long time but were in fact a matter of seconds looking back at the group of white children sitting around the same table as me who were all looking at me.
that january morning of '63 was my introduction to the british white man's world. as that 5y/o child who's infantile amnesia had began to lift from oct '61 although not aware of the existence of the adjective incongruous or its meaning. i knew what it was and what it felt like i knew how it manifested itself in life. i knew this not for the first time in my short life on that first school day morning. but i knew it at its most pronounced that day and ever since in life.
my child's mind cemented the fact of life that i was the only black boy among white children in the classroom. cemented the fact that i along w/my brothers and sister were the only black children in a school population of white children and adults.
and all my the decision making of our then 40y/o father of 7 (soon to be 8 jan'65) children. 6ft 3in of the biggest baddest blackest african man i have ever seen. himself a stark incongruity of an employee in the brits r.a.f.
2bcontd... :)
my the choices and decision making of our father i found myself standing in the doorway of a big room looking at a group of white children who, were all looking back at me, seated at tables and chairs the size of which i had not seen before. standing next to me were two women. my mother and a white woman complete stranger to me.
the next thing i was aware of was the white woman talking to me telling me to "say goodbye colin". this instruction from the white woman presented no difficulties for me. i was happy to comply. i raised my arm and waved my hand at the group of white children occupying the small tables and chairs and said: bye.
i failed to see anything amusing in what id just done or said at the suggestion of the white woman so was confused to see both my mother and the white woman laughing and smiling when i looked up at their faces. where upon the white woman told me to say good bye to my mother and not the group of children in front of me. then the white woman took my by the hand and lead me to a vacant small chair in front of small tables joined together. sat me down and walked away. me? i sat where i was placed for what seemed like a long time but were in fact a matter of seconds looking back at the group of white children sitting around the same table as me who were all looking at me.
that january morning of '63 was my introduction to the british white man's world. as that 5y/o child who's infantile amnesia had began to lift from oct '61 although not aware of the existence of the adjective incongruous or its meaning. i knew what it was and what it felt like i knew how it manifested itself in life. i knew this not for the first time in my short life on that first school day morning. but i knew it at its most pronounced that day and ever since in life.
my child's mind cemented the fact of life that i was the only black boy among white children in the classroom. cemented the fact that i along w/my brothers and sister were the only black children in a school population of white children and adults.
and all my the decision making of our then 40y/o father of 7 (soon to be 8 jan'65) children. 6ft 3in of the biggest baddest blackest african man i have ever seen. himself a stark incongruity of an employee in the brits r.a.f.
2bcontd... :)
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